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I feel younger as time passes
No one warned me of this
The burdens of responsibility
I carried for years
Are gone
Dysfunctional family
Jealous adversaries
Gone
All gone
Now, as I enter the infancy
Of old age
I am freer than I was as a child
Today I thrive
All I knew was
I wanted sanity
Respect
Space in which to grow
I feel like dancing in the morning
By mid-day I want to burst into song
I smile as I drift off to sleep at day’s end
I have energy to do what I want to do
There is no hurry for anything
I look to the future with humor
Wondering what I will do next
Or who I will become
I live a life of wonder
Not always comfortable
Because walking into the unknown
No matter how sweet it is
Is a challenge
I live a life of joy
Mixed with sorrow
As awareness heightens
With each passing day
I am fully who I am every moment
No longer bound by conventions
Imposed by others
I believe whatever I believe
And leave the rest for someone else to think about
I walk with the God of my understanding
As a well-loved child
© 2011 Beth NoLastName
How it might occur
When it might occur
If the truth were known
I am positive most people my age
Think the same way
Some trembling in anticipation
Others racing
Anxiously trying to be free of such thoughts
I know no matter what I do
There is no way to prepare for the moment
I have lost loved ones
Nothing I did
Ever prepared me
For the reality of the finality
Of the event
Life will end
Done
Gone
Finished
There's no way to prepare
(c) 2010 Beth NoLastName
And having a sudden parting
Feels like falling out of a plane
Without a parachute
These are the moments
When the wings of spirit
Turn the journey
Into a true adventure
(c) 2010 Beth NoLastName
I am married
Is a punch line
If delivered soon enough
And a curse
if delayed
It's all a matter of timing
Better to chuckle
And walk around those
With early Alzheimer's
And leave that
For their mates to deal with
(C) Beth NoLastName
His name is Jamie
She lives in New Jersey
Her name is Jaime
One the nephew
The other the neice
It keeps my life simple
Neither one related by blood
Or marriage
But through spirit they are mine
I claimed them
They claimed me
They are so much alike
They would be stunned if they met
To meet one is to meet the other
Like their names
They are composed of the same stuff
Simply arranged a bit differently
(c) 2010 Beth NoLastName
I am one half of a hug
I am a spirit having a physical experience
I am not the sum of my experiences
I am an experience happening
I survive despite my past
I walk into a more positive unknown daily
You will not define me
You will not box me in with lables
You will not hold me back
You can encourage me
You can invite me to join with you
You can share with me as I have my experiences and you have yours
I mind my own business, not yours
That's for you to mind
Tread lightly in my life
And I will shower you with love
I want to direct my own thoughts
If you inquire of me
I will wander away
I am busy asking my own questions
And living my answers
(C) 2010 Beth NoLastName
I was taken to a church
Where I was told that only those
Who belonged to that church
Were going to heaven
And even then
If members didn't do everything just right
They would be delayed or denied entrance
It was a set up for failure for a free spirited child
When I was older I went to different churches
Where people were kinder
And the message more favorable
But so much emphasis was made
On the need for financial asistance
And attendance several times a week
There was no room for a free spirited adult
As my peers went to college and began careers
I scratched my head and wandered off to raise a family
Write stories for my children
Keep journals and create poems when life grew hard
Along the way I prayed, but even that
I did my way
I held conversations
Spoke
Waited for answers
And nodded n agreement
Or pouted, as the case may be
Not caring for the reply
But listening anyway
As I walked through life
I was ridiculed, laughed at
Rejected and often abused
I wondered about people
I decided their religions
Must be like schools
They had to attend and do as directed
Until they grasped that God is real
My concept of God continued to expand
Beyond the reach of words
Or even emotions
Larger than my intellect
Greater than my imagination
I surrendered anew
To that which I couldn't comprehend
And marveled as events occurred
Some people were pulled away
And others brought forward
A dance began
With a song so lovely
That each person could only sing
A small part of it
God, I realized,
Is Open Source
The room so neat
It's almost bare
Bookcase, a shelf
A desk and chair
An office where
The sick will meet
With therapist
A woman sweet
To tell their tales
Of pain and woe
Misunderstood
By friend and foe
She smiles and nods
Sometimes she sighs
At moments tears
Are in her eyes
She feels the pain
And eases stress
So patients can
Receive some rest
An interlude
Of peace occurs
A question asked
A memory stirs
An insight comes
The pain departs
And then with joy
Within their hearts
Both laugh
As angels come to play
It's almost bare
Bookcase, a shelf
A desk and chair
An office where
The sick will meet
With therapist
A woman sweet
To tell their tales
Of pain and woe
Misunderstood
By friend and foe
She smiles and nods
Sometimes she sighs
At moments tears
Are in her eyes
She feels the pain
And eases stress
So patients can
Receive some rest
An interlude
Of peace occurs
A question asked
A memory stirs
An insight comes
The pain departs
And then with joy
Within their hearts
Both laugh
As angels come to play
(c) Beth NoLastName
Knowing I will sleep soon
Wondering who I will be
When I wake
I went to bed early last night
But awoke within an hour
Full of energy
It's that butterfly
Pushing against the cocoon
"Thing" again
The incredible energy
That comes right before
Giving birth to another part of self
Born again
And again
The anticipation
Always joyful
The labor gentler and swifter each time
(C) 2010 Beth NoLastName
Are thank You
I whisper to the air
My heart hollers them within
My mind pictures a child spinning in joy
Thank You
Thank You
Old hurts have gone
No scarring occurred
Instead gratitude
Knowing pain could exist
But doesn't
I suffered once
But no longer
Perhaps the suffering
Was simply
To wreck complacency
And heighten appreciation
For the abundance of life itself
It matters not
What matters is that as I breathe
Blessings flow in
And gratitude flows out
(C) 2010 Beth NoLastName
