Evening Reflections

SURRENDER TO WIN

2009-12-11T18:27:58Z

Looking for a way to grow
So the nag doesn't bother me
Even as she makes her negative noise
Looking for an invisible wall
To place as a buffer
Between her and I
I begin to knit
A bullet proof vest
Prayer
Forgiveness
Love
I strive to see where she is right
Even while I know where she is wrong
She's noisy
There's no way to escape and simply
Mind my own business
The best I can do is to physically leave
There must be somewhere else I am meant to be
An irritant can cause an oyster to make a pearl
But I am no mollusk

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

GETTING EVEN

2009-12-02T20:05:27Z

It's all so simple
Isn't it
Thank God
When things go wrong
So when He turns them around
He already knows we acknowledge Him
As Greater than all
That comes against us
It's the only way we can try to get even
With Him
We'll never make it
He does to much
For us to get anywhere near close
But a thank You
In the midst of a storm
Surely puts a smile upon His face

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

THE PARTING OF WAYS

2009-11-25T20:53:24Z

You know I don't like change, you said
Neither do I
But I embrace it
Rather than resist it
You toss hurtful words my way
And then say
You were only joking
But I, being the butt of your joke
See no humor
You pretend I am overly senstive
Because, after all, you can't be wrong
You, with your backward thinkng
And unchanging routine
I'd rather stumble into the unknown
Without a clue
That to stand firmly
Stuck in your rut

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

THE GOLDEN GIRLS' SILVER STREAK

2009-11-16T11:20:04Z

I rode inside the whistle
As the train rambled down the tracks
In the middle of a dream come true
The Silver Streak it's name
How appropriate!
For as I traveled I met one after another
Senior heading on a life adventure
Were truth to be told
We all had silver in our hair
Just beneath the red, brown and blond
Flor-i-dahh Flor-i-dahh
The wheels sang as they turned atop the tracks

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

PUPPY LOVE

2009-11-16T11:11:56Z

Spots before my eyes
No matter where I look
They follow me
Surrounding me
If I play
Connect the dots
I wind up laughing
For they form
A large heart
Of constant affection
When you visit nine Dalmatians
There is no other choice!

(c)2009 Beth NoLastName

LADY VENUS

2009-11-07T17:47:52Z

In passion she burns, rests and burns again
Consuming those who enter her embrace
Her leaf lips
Close over a morsel
Refusing to open again for days
A secret kept
Without so much as a whisper uttered
Until
Parted again
A skeleton of what was appears
To be blow way on the wind
Dionaea Muscipula
Her proper name
But those who know her carnivorous ways
Call her Venus Flytrap
Though caterpillars and grasshoppers
Would do well to avoid her
Drown her and she waits holding her breath
For months
Burn her and she rejuvenates
But do not disturb her when at rest
For like any lady
She needs her beauty sleep

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

SEA FARER

2009-10-28T01:59:17Z

The beautiful band
Shined brightly as a star
As he raised his hand
An unbroken circle
To symbolize
Unity of spirit
Two souls as one
Unto death
Perhaps she gave it to him
For his birthday
This is the first time
I have seen him wear it
I wondered
Now I know
Earlier today I said
I think he's married
But I do not know
If not he should be
And I laughed
I described the hooks he placed
One after another
And mimicked being stuck with a grappling hook
But I am a whale now
Ruling my sea of love
He's but one man in a row boat
I'll forgive the hooks
But he'd better let go of the rope
Or he'll be capsized
And never make it to land again

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

AGING WITH GRACE

2009-10-28T00:02:33Z

Moods come and go
I surf them
Riding waves of emotion
Learning to stand tall
Hold balance
And at times
Perform a playful trick
For no one's applause
But my own

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

THE ROMANTIC

2009-10-22T23:00:45Z

There is no cure
I wouldn't want it
If there was
I will gladly die of this
For it has brought me
More to life
Than any other one thing
Yes
I have suffered
Still suffer
Yes
It's been painful
Dreams have been shattered
My heart has been broken
There were moments
I wondered if I had any sanity left
But to be cured from this
Would leave me as an empty shell
Devoid of feeling and purpose
For what else is a poet
Than a romantic
I may rant and rave
About the injustices of life
Scold those who live without conscience
Sigh over the tenderness of new born babies
Whether human or of any other nature
But it is love that keeps me going
And the romance of life
That kindles the spark of life
Incurable
Chasing the dream
Pursuing the beauty of my own soul
Until my last breath

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

HAZY PERCEPTION

2009-10-20T23:11:43Z

You have no idea who I am now
I am similar to who you knew
But not the same
And even when you knew me
You missed a lot
I listened to you define me
And looked over my shoulder
To see who you were speaking of
I can smile about that now
(I cried then)
There is one now
Who seems to want to know me
But I learned from you
To wait
And to test
Rather than to trust that
A mere man could ever really know
A woman

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

SMILING SAGE

2009-10-18T18:54:20Z

Her face changed this year
She looks years older
That just a few months ago
But real and to her own eye
Beautiful
At last

No longer
The silly child
With no idea
Of the rhyme or reason of life

Now a sage
Smiling
Full of secrets
To impart or not
At her discretion

A discerning soul
Looking with humor
Upon her past
Full to the brim with forgiveness

Her face her own
But the light in her eyes
Akin to that of her grandmother
A woman knowing the joy of love
Strong enough to be gentle
Ready to laugh at a moment's notice

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

AMERICAN BEAUTY

2009-10-18T18:25:54Z

She sits across from me
Laptop computer open
On the desk before her
Caught up in what she is doing
Unaware of the beauty she puts into this space
Simply by sharing it
Hair blacker than night
A face to cause angels to hush
Intent upon what she is doing
An intellect at work inside
An awe inspiring work of art

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

CONTINUTY

2009-10-18T18:17:25Z

I don't need to understand
I need only to accept
Keep my heart right
And carry on
I've no reason to feel confused
I know myself
My conscience is clear
When I cannot understand
I do not have to understand
Perhaps it's not any of my business
Perhaps there is deceit in the air
It matters little
My peace lives within me
It's durable
And portable
I can walk away from any situation
That would distract me from listening to it

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

SWEET DREAMS

2009-10-15T22:59:42Z

I am alone
But thinking of you
Wanting love to cover you
As you sleep
Asking angels to touch your cheek
A gentle caress
To soothe
Not disturb
I would hold your head to my breast
If I were there
Instead I send my heart
On angel's wings
To beat in rhythm with yours

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

BUTTERFLY ON A LEASH

2009-10-06T22:31:48Z

I have entered the world of mysticism
Never again to return
To the mundane
I am Butterfly
Free of my cocoon
The struggle giving me strength
To spread my wings
I fly
I flit from here to there
With no agenda to tie me to one spot
Or one activity
The only thing holding me to this earth
The silver silken thread
From my heart to yours

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

ONE FOR THE ROAD

2009-10-05T20:20:28Z

I watched her walk by the street light
Rubbing my eyes
In disbelief
As I stared out through
The large plate glass window
She looked normal enough
A lady on a raining night
Umbrella in one hand
Leash in another
Taking Fido
For an evening walk
Perfectly normal
A dedicated pet owner
And her loyal companion
Who was either an eight-legged dog
Or the largest spider I had ever seen
I said goodnight to Charlie
As he stood wiping down the bar
Drained the shot from the glass before me
In one hasty gulp
And decided to exit by the back door
Just in case

(C) 2009 BethNoLastName

BABY SISTER

2009-10-02T20:40:15Z

Sweet and gentle
A child of color and light
Born to be an artist
Putting together things of beauty
Pointing
Look! See!
At the special glory of nature around her
Camera ready
Snap!
And there it is
A miracle recorded
Born from a loving heart
The best thing about her
She is mine!

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

FARE THEE WELL

2009-09-30T17:55:41Z

I know what to do
I do it
Living by rote
One next right thing after another
But I pause
Sigh
And feel the loss
Even as I appreciate what still exists
People are not disposable
I will not cease to be
Because you have treated me
Like a plastic bottle
To toss into the bin for recycling
I will not pretend we were not close
At one time
It's that closeness
Remembering and cherishing the memory
That causes the sorrow of loss
But neither will I forget
My own worth
It is I
Who chooses to be too busy
Being human and valuable
To spend time being treated
As less than worthy

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

THE JOURNEY

2009-09-24T09:23:56Z

It's all an ocean voyage at times
Leaving behind the earth beneath my feet
To follow an uncharted course
On an unplanned trip

I was simply standing at the dock
Looking dreamily at the expanse before me
Wondering

He came up behind me and pushed
And I, confused, went ahead of him for a bit
Up the gangplank
But at the last minute
He turned and fled
And the ship took off

For days now
I've been adrift
Knowing only that I am moving on
Away from shore
The shore now so distant
I can't see it anymore

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

THE NEW GIRL IN TOWN

2009-09-23T23:05:31Z

I need a brand new friend
To see who I am now
And what part of me
Gave up the ghost
Someone new
To be new with
To see what came to fill the space

Should I approach a stranger and say
Hello
I don't know who I am
Would you please ask me
So I can find out

Right now
I am a stranger to myself

It's not amnesia
I have a very clear picture of who I was
I'm just not her now
I wouldn't want to be her again

No
I am someone new

I look in the mirror
The face is familiar
Have we met before
No, I guess not
The woman I remember
Used to smile a lot
You look peaceful
But sad
Your face is soft
And kind
I think I would like to get to know you

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

RENEWAL OF LIFE

2009-09-22T17:45:02Z

In the wake of the forest fire
New growth occurs
The forest
Once majestic
Grows again as green
Begins to color the landscape

After the pain
Peace settles in
In a blaze of glory
All that I was perished
Nothing but ashes left
To blow away with the first gust of wind
Yet here I am
Starting over

(c) 2009 Beth NoLastName

WHY I WALK ALONE

2009-09-21T19:32:13Z

I accept anew that men, although at times intellectual giants, are emotional pygmies.
They see but do not hear
They speak but do not listen
They read but do not comprehend
They are always measuring, as if amount is more important than quality
Give them ten wives and they wouldn't know how to satisfy one
They call me wise when I agree with them, and foolish when I do not
I walk away knowing I have to love them, or I would have no tolerance for them at all

Instead of learning about a woman, they seek to tell women who to be
As if any man could be a woman and do as a woman does
They could not lead us at all if we did not offer them directions on which way to go

From time to time one learns how to love a woman rightly and she helps him to gain a position in life where he is a man among men
It's been many years since any man loved me rightly
They've all been too busy trying to tell me who to be
The foolishness of that causes me to wander off alone once again.

I will not follow if a man will not take direction

MOTHERING MYSELF

2009-09-21T18:35:28Z

I sit here feeling as if I will explode
Looking calm
Sitting quietly
Heart surely ready to burst in my chest
Shh! Be still
I bid the passion within
It does not listen
Hours now without relenting
Pushing clawing to the surface
For what?
Calm down, I bid
Go away!
But deaf passion continues
For what reason...
Is there any use to this...
For these are hours of my fleeting life
Without a soul to care
To share
What use is this
No logical course
Just a strong
I WILL BE
So I let it be
In abundance
And take a sip of my tea
What once would send me screaming and storming
Now causes me to shake my head and release a tear
Passion no different than in my youth
But there is more to me now
A depth
A thoughtfulness
A consideration of another
I will not reason with my passion
I will wait it out
Love still resides within

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

THE PERFECT MAN

2009-09-21T18:10:59Z

There has been a rebellion
My emotions refuse to quiet themselves
But...I say
No buts! they reply
Deal with us!
But...I say
No buts! they reply
Feel us!
But...I say
No buts! they reply
Express us!

So I cry.
I stand and walk around
And sit to cry again
I write and delete
Make a pot of tea
Tell myself I will plead
Temporary insanity

When anger surfaces
I want to sing
The He Done Me Wrong Song
He pleads innocence
I say ignorance
Which oughta be a crime
Instead man plays dumb
And woman cries

There is no blame to place
He's simply wrong
And can't even see it
Let alone admit it
I feel the pain

He wanders off
To think of something else
Deciding I am crazy
Because he can't be wrong
I feel the pain

Soon he will come for me
I won't be there any longer
He may never know why
Because he can't be wrong

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName

THE GENTLE VOICE

2009-09-21T15:56:33Z

To come more fully to life
I must feel
That which is deepest
Within me
And as it surfaces
Tidal waves of emotion
Overcome me
Pride says
Hold Back!
Don't do this!
Fear says
Surely you will die!
Love says
It's all right
I am here
All is well

(C) 2009 Beth NoLastName